- 10 Reasons I Quit Online Dating
- 6 Reasons Why Looking for a Relationship Online Is a Bad Idea | PairedLife
- 7 Reasons Why Online Dating is the Actual Worst
- Reason #1: Relationship? I Thought You Said Sex!
I put only the best pictures of myself out there, but not what I look like when I wake up in the morning. I filtered myself in basically every way, and took what makes me uniquely special out of the equation, so I could be more "marketable.
It's dishonest, dull and way too technical for something that shouldn't be so systematic. While I didn't realize this till months later, I was simply unhappy with my life. I was using the idea of dating as an escape from my own life because well, it's an easy distraction, and even easier the more venues, or apps, you have to keep the hunt alive. I don't think this is necessarily true for everyone facilitating these tools, but I do think it's way more common than many people realize. It's another numbing device in the avoidance of ourselves.
10 Reasons I Quit Online Dating
Focusing your attention on others as a way to not look in the mirror, and find what is truly wrong, hurting or uncomfortable at this moment in our own lives. It's really easy to think that when you find someone a lot of your issues will just subside or disappear, but the truth is until you start to work on you, you'll never be happy, coupled up or single. One of the hardest things to do is look in the mirror and be honest with yourself because there usually is a lot of sadness, confusion and disappointment. However, when you finally admit this to yourself, you take the first step to changing all of that.
Thinking about who I could meet, having numerous conversations with multiple people and trying to keep up with all of it was exhausting. Call me old-fahsioned, but I think there is something beyond romantic about meeting someone, one person, and courting each other. Finding out about each other, focusing on just him and seeing where it could go.
Having Larry, Moe and Curly in the wings just kept me unnecessarily anxious, unfocused and a part of the three stooges. As I chatted, met and repeated each of these steps with guy after guy, and there even was one named, Guy, I found myself constantly sitting across the table from someone, who wasn't on my page.
Maybe it was the guys I was swiping right to, the app I was choosing to facilitate or any other number of reasons, but it seemed like most of these men didn't actually want a relationship. They wanted someone to have dinner, a conversation or sex with, but not actually a relationship. Winning meant different things to different people, but it never felt like there was two winners at the end of it all, and in my opinion, there is no point in taking part in anything where you don't have two winners.
I truly believe it's either two winners, or two losers and the later played out far too frequently in this unwinnable game.
6 Reasons Why Looking for a Relationship Online Is a Bad Idea | PairedLife
In the end we all have the right to do, act and say as we please, but as I had swam through the never ending pool of virtual daters, I found myself tired, numb and even more bored than when I had started. I didn't like the shallow conversations I was having to have over and over again.
- Reason #2: Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire?.
- seinfeld dating myself.
- 7 Reasons Why Online Dating is the Actual Worst - HelloGiggles.
- 6 Reasons Why Looking for a Relationship Online Is a Bad Idea.
I didn't like the lack of emotion that was fostered through staring at my screen for hours, and I didn't like that I felt bad day after day about not finding what I had been searching for. After being off all dating apps for about a year, I can honestly say I am more at peace with my life, my love life and myself. I have met some great guys in real life, "organically," if you will, who have showed me that there are some great ones still out there, and you don't need to be staring at your screen to find them.
Frankly, you need to be doing the opposite. Look up, look around you, look all over.
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There are great, funny, interesting individuals all over the place: The key is to just get over yourself, and say hi. We let so many people walk right past us, sit down next to us, and stare at us, but never take a leap of faith and say hi because we don't have a buffer. Forget about the buffer, forget about your pride, forget about everything because when you see someone in real life, and they give you butterflies, you need to honor that feeling and fly with them. Dating isn't a game, there shouldn't be rules, and the longer you stay a player the longer you just get stuck playing a video game.
I'm not saying quit everything all at once, but I am saying that if the thought of doing that scares you, you're probably addicted and actually do need one big break from all of them. Enjoy the process, enjoy your time and most importantly enjoy yourself because until you do, no one else is going to enjoy you either.
7 Reasons Why Online Dating is the Actual Worst
Finding inner peace shows, and will create peace in all other aspects of your life. Whether it's dating, relationships or work confidence is gold. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Online dating just isn't for me. You can't help, but think, "Damn, where have you been all my life? This is why after 6 first dates in 5 days, I not once found myself wanting a second date. I Became Way More Shallow. I Don't Like Games.
And that's exactly what all these things are, games. There are rules, directions and even moments asking if you'd like to chat, or "keep playing. I Wasn't Honoring My Truth. What the hell are you doing on an online dating site? Why is there this stigma attached that a woman or a man must be desperate to resort to a dating service?
What more could you want? And so many people myself included are better with the written word than conversation.
Reason #1: Relationship? I Thought You Said Sex!
Those Creepy Old Guys. And yeah, when it comes down to it, personality comes first. But attraction is important, too. So let me just lay it out on the table right now and get it out in the open. I once connected with a guy who created a sarcastic page just to get a little attention. And I respected him so much more for it. Blame it on the lighting, make-up, the flash. But things are looking a lot bleaker in the harsh light of day.
Olivia Rowe is an Ithaca College alum who recently schlepped cross-country to the City of Angels to make her screenwriting dreams a reality. You can usually catch her procrastinating via feminist rants on Facebook or sometimes-witty entertainment commentary on Twitter OliviaJRowe. Featured image via Shutterstock.